Season 9 Episode 17: Getting (that Libido) Up

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The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world. Welcome to another episode of dateable. Show all about modern dating. I just have to clarify. It is about dating and not about data as As some people have assumed according to Julius Co worker you thought it was a show about date. Data can't be right. It'd be riveting. It shows sort of data actually never had a guest. Well come our listeners. Before you are on it might be wondering welcome. Welcome to Youtube show and home it. Also smoking up ars in so many things not only did he. Interject during our intro. He's also smoking up as you're the best guest ever but now I can introduce who you are on it in the studio here. WHO's getting high thirty eight years old originally from Mumbai that in San Francisco for eight years with the stint in Boston Austin in-between he's married but also in an open relationship and poly-amorous basically just checked all the boxes? I love for a single electoral so so modern dating right now. Mary fought and options option. So this is what he wrote to who as he said in early. Two Thousand Nineteen felt like I was running low on testosterone and as a result a low workout capacity and low libido I decided to bio hack my way to higher levels using non invasive non medical methods. I like to share what I did. Why and how and its results this SCIENC- so maybe this is a data? The show you need to put this disclaimer. So I'm not a health professional. I'm not giving any advice right because your personal earlier just wants to get it up whenever ripple many bed though listen to this right now I guess to start like. How did you even know that you were kind of running comparison? Yes so you know. So there's the data bark right. I got myself tested. But he will go for that. I just thought that my workout in the amount of Beta I was using so much lower than what I used to and granted lake. And I'm comparing myself to. When I was twenty one twenty two? I used to bench hundred one thousand nine hundred ninety and I was kind of like just topping off at sixty woodlake. There's something you know. Yes I need to change my diet. I need to change so many things but you know maybe it's just my then guess at the same time it also ended up the research that American stars from levels are going down by two percent per year. It used to be one percent now. It's two percent per year and that's that's an average reading until I clearly some people some Bendler you losing. I would just think I was out of shape. Like why the Go-to your sex life like. How did you like yes that yes so this is probably the first seven talking about this in Publicradio? Okay Don keep smoking. That's needed smokers for anyone listening to the extra thirteen which are highly recommend not a sponsor sponsor insanity addition to many more to come so I think he departed artifacts into star. Swim kind of goes down for men in general and I think is where I think I was. I was feeling it a lot more just couldn't get it up as as reliably as they could keep it up for the entire side so your partner notices absolutely yes. I mean this was a conversation. Yes so she noticed and we had a conversation those in the beginning it is just a you just get annoyed each other frustrated trying to figure out if it is. It's it's you not doc me and at some point. I don't think it's a problem with his my problem. Let's go back a little bit to. The root of this issue is that I've had this conversation with so many people about about how society believes that the man should be able to get it up all. Yeah he should be horny and he should ride ex all the time and so for women who who encounter a partner who doesn't want to have sex with them or can't get it up. We take a personal. Yes as we think while you're supposed to be horny all the time about mead in writing making you less attractive to you absolutely I think it was. You know. There's a lot of discussion around lake you know. There's all kinds of like sex products are Muslim and oriented women. Go for therapy.

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Women go like any marriage counseling. It's almost as if like you know I'm fine at the end of the life is having problems and leading. She needs to figure that out. I I just don't believe in that. Yes that is a part of yesterday's conversation that you need to have but I think to me I can see I don't want to deny so. Is this like a new issue or Lord. You feel like this had happened before in your marriage or in your path in my past new Not as consistent and so in the past year it was having a Happening will consistently so that is something that Mike you know what life is short and I need to enjoy the rest of it and this happens to be part of it and so just to so yes I mean you know once in a while when those younger it happened but most of it was because of alcoholic thinking too much happens and so yeah exactly exactly right And so I if I feel like you know it's happening to drink less anyways right With this was happening even without drinking it tough because like I know this happened to a friend of mine with a couple different people and like their point was like once. It happens once almost like gets in the man's head every time they go to have sex. It's like a mental block Italian. Yes absolutely I think that is that is part of the annoyance as well. Where like especially for men? It's there's no switch unless through late nineteen a snap a finger lake. It's up like at this age like in late thirties. Like there's no way you can just like you know. Snap and bring it up if you get frustrated by the experience would sell. Then you feel like you know it's going to happen again and the performance anxiety. Dixon was happening to me all the time. And it's not a topic that we discussed with both genders. I think men discuss it with each other but we don't really discuss it with each other as partner right so it's good that we're talking about this now because I've definitely encountered this with previous as partners and I definitely thought there was something wrong with me or something wrong with them. I didn't think there was something wrong. In general and it's good to know that there is a solution apparently. What was your plan of attack for? Dak Yes so I think the approach. I was taking for this date for many other. Things I wanted to one is set a time lightens. I wanted to fix this in two months but do it the all natural way I mean that was most important to me like I know you know. Therapy exists and companies. That are doing a pretty good job in that. But I didn't I just didn't want to deal with the side effects like I have. Gi Issues and some of these therapies have will will attack those Those conditions and so I wanted to be all natural now. I did use supplements I did use some of those. Most of the supplements I use. Were all natural lake in a roots and new oh no way like some NFL CIALIS data. Fill all of them caused so many. Gi issues most men know that but like you know just because they're so excited like you you just pop a few pills and then the next couple of days you're going through a bad face. Go Broth loved the side effects are really scary. The commercials always say if you experienced direction for eight hours or longer like what the fuck and forget our to. There's something wrong hours worked for eight hours. It is a little bit less than eight hours for you to know something's wrong stats of like what age things start to kind of like become more prevalent. Like I can't can't speak to what he's like. Every every human is different different bed. I looked this up. The range for stars thrown is do one hundred seventy two a thousand seventy man Rams Hughes range and the avenues in the six hundred but it's healthy to be from four hundred to six hundred bucks totally and so but I wasn't the low five hundred so that is something that I wasn't too low was dinner but I still wasn't a in the six hundred. I should be an alarming. It's salarmy alarming other issues but like not this one at the same time I was just like you know. Why wouldn't I want to be in the six hundred two months and you know thankfully a good could you? Did you took it. Like someone who's like in the ten percentile. Sat's but I could get one rather offense. Your sex life is on the line that's true. What if you're south? Asian stereotype the testosterone levels. must get to the past past all of them. I did get it up to in the six hundred but and it I know it feels better. You know my partner feels better right. I don't know if you uncovered this in your research. I'm just so fascinated by this but like is it genetic like are there some men that are just like predisposition to have higher test austerer on levels and others. Oh yeah it is a distribution. It's a spectrum and even obviously have to stop survey it's lower in level apple and that's another distribution and those decisions overlaps in some women might have more than some other men so I I don't know the shape of the distribution but right. I think there's a lot to do with also ethnicity biology to me.

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My everyone can maximize the Many ways to do that at the very least you can avoid it going indeed and and that is what I did for a couple of months experiment with ways where you can you can keep it right. I guess we'll it's all relative right so like if you you went through your whole life feeling like you had ex sex drive in like feeling like that was sufficient for you them. It's not necessarily a problem if it's lower than someone else's having it becomes owns a problem like what you said when your sex drive takes a hit or like you're just not feeling like you can kind of maximize gym time or whatever that may be right before we get into the specifics. Six of what you did. Maybe we can break down the symptoms. You're feeling just someone can relate so low energy low libido meaning what. Let's take a quick break because I have an announcement all right everyone. You're hearing it here. I we will like to take our relationship. I r. l.. We're inviting you that asked listeners to be our VIP guests at our very very. I live dateable podcast. Show in San Francisco whether you're trying to our GTS will answer all your burning questions about love sex and relationships along along with some surprise guests and well just some other surprises that we reveal right now. Event will be on Tuesday December tenth. And it's a re but have to get tickets tickets because space is limited come. NPR VIP guests the very first dateable. PODCASTS live recording. Whether you're single taken or trying to figure it out this show Oh is where you get. All the dates on our facebook page instagram or dateable PODCASTS DOT com slash. Live now back to this episode before we get into the specifics of what oh you did. Maybe we can break down the symptoms. You're feeling just in case someone can relate so low energy low libido meaning what he were having less sex I was having bless sex as a result of not having strong deductions. Okay and so you have a better action and then you feel like this is not my problem as Clara and then there's the spinal exactly that you have less and less sex because every time you feel like you want to you know you just perform that just went down like a bad spy mm-hmm and then you know obviously in the gym. I felt like I was just not making any progress. Not Sleet Height. Used to sleep. Well have always slept well. But then that's also part of this ramps deep depots like an hour and a half and so this crosses help me bring it up to three hours sleep. That would be my dream. I'm like maybe you can come in and too many things. I think that is something that I wanted to. I don't want to feel like I was kind of. Yeah Ah biohacking. But I don't want to call myself a bio hacker. Because he's kind of illicit some sort of like a freaky from doing too many things. I am doing trial and error of things that could work for you. It's also nice that you you are married. And you have this consistent partner you can test way. If you didn't have a consistent partner like how would you now. Yeah it'd be hard to know of things were working and so I think that was part of it as well as they can. While I was doing this we used to have those kinds of conversations about is this working like in every once in a while and having a part of that is mature enough to have that news stations. Where that's part of your experiment to write the the feedback you're getting back some bright lake benchmark it? How Did you light started up and down with? It's like you know like zero to one hundred. You feel like a completely subjective and like it started like sixty or seventy at one point went up to ninety five. What report basically when you were having the issues it was at like sixty for us? And then you're used that as a gauge when you were testing some of this other stuff right and what was happening at ninety five. We're like we're their new positions being in what was happening. ooh Let's get into that. Yeah yeah this one is me being able to Maintaining that action long enough where I used to feel the same AFI switched positions. I lose it and thinking about that of music right and so you know like some say so I used to be in the phase one. Let's not change let's move. Let's just exactly and so you know I could do multiple positions stay. Stay stay more consistent days longer days longer and then the workout also helps you know specific. You need muscles to work and help you out. I I like my workout schedule. Also helped in that manhandling. I mean I think like from a woman's perspective the best sites I've ever had has been someone that could be tade direction for a lot longer than like other people right right well. We're floss long enough Nice Raymond Long enough for me to get off right exactly.

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I think it's like you know at least five five or six orgasms for the bar to meet every five or six orgasms really in one section the ultimate what. Yeah Yeah. That's pretty standard guys. They're looking okay. There's mostly what multiple ORGASMS I. Just take me that what I feel like I is a guy at the very end Eddie. And it doesn't matter I mean again. Everyone has different testosterone. He's thinking oh I always celebrated with one orgasm but now I gotTa do five Shit you got off its methodology. You're going to be the subject it. It works for women in an accent. Marcus how many orgasms. She was getting pay. Obviously I have friends who think differently. Sleep totally into having their partners having orgasm and others auto no. That's not what I do. That's not my my job or whatever it is that right uh-huh yeah. It's hard for some women to organic. Anyway that's the same thing about getting it up. It's not someone's fault per se ashes. What is going on what they're burning right? We can talk about what your methodology is now specifically. So what did you try. We'll work did I think three idiots like one of the brain the body and behavior and split them into three parts I think brain has a significant amount of affect on on everything right but libido also I wanted to reduce my stress levels Zeitz level so I can go down the list of supplements that I took starting with Ashra Gunda which is an adapter adapter. Jenny group is used to help reduce transport also. It's kind of a performance booth storm W J Ashley Gumbo Scott got it. We didn't even get a get W to remember that. which is tonight nick or means horse and smell so this route smells like like a Horse Condo so if you if you look for horse smell supplement? He's a little definitely remember that yeah. Where do you get that if it like at a walgreens or like any plenty you've done the on on Amazon okay so you can go to the standard standard you'd in the supplement supply? GMC SIERRA GNC. I I need to go to my supplement store. Get this horse. Okay the GO-TO and see some horse manure fleas. I'd probably the most the most popular run. I mean you could. You could go with Rodeo. You could do Jin sang connection saying that. Say whatever again. This is what I chose this. I've been I've used. I used it before and I felt like you know this work herbal like nothing non natural. Yes nothing unnatural. The thing. It's like you know I do my research on examine DOT com. Well I think it's like an amazing resource. Where if you want to look for supplements if you want to change anything it was just one thing but there's so many other things you just type in whatever supplement you're looking for or condition that you have an aerial health goal that he WANNA fix examine dot com again? I'm not affiliated with that but hey check supplements yes so so So those one because I feel like I just wanted to He's my stress levels so I've made list so the next to sleep. Sleep was so much more important than everything else. It's like I. I knew I was getting good enough sleep but not enough because it bleeds into the rest of your day. Yeah absolutely like stress levels are high stress levels kind of mess up. Your hormone levels in hormone levels obviously have a direct impact on your libido on e one have more sucks skipped have more sleep better one to underscore film would ever want sleep cancer. So many things examine sleep hygiene. I stopped using my phone at least thirty minutes before sleeping I had blender routine Had A melatonin supplement if you use some of these devices sued the Blue Light Produces Melatonin which body uses itself and if it produces lasts you get less sleep so now affiliate Chambas and say the Casper Glow Light has put me too bad like I love that. I like fall asleep so fast now I used to have to read falsely to sleep also has these different stages construe from the previous company that was working for these to track sleep.

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One of the important thing is also like to buy yourself a tracker and a tracker that tax these different stages of sleep sleeps garment does a pretty good job. Apple watches okay but garment especially the fitbit which the MIC rate. Yeah absolutely so it's like it will tell you whether you're you're going to sleep fast enough and that most people considered that as an indication for good sleep like you can get to sleep quicker but if you keep waking up from mm sleep. That's yeah okay so seriously. Better Sleep You know there's plenty of supplements the next one was fish oil now. This is controversial. I did fish oil because I'm genetically predisposed to higher level of cholesterol and to me I feel like if I take fish oil. I can control my cholesterol level. There are studies that have shown tone that Fish oil works although studies have shown that it doesn't work really but to me and this is where things get a little new from objective to subject objective active like in looking at examining the can give you a list of studies which show one way or the other but subjectively. I feel better when I'm taking fish oil supplements I'm just putting it out. Studies that say it has has a negative effect on health. There have been studies that has shown that it has long term negative effects. Now this whole thing about the quantity of the fish oil the freshness official royal relatives backwards picked up from into and plus fish. Oil Is. Sometimes it's kind of has other oils in it depending on WHO's made it. I don't want to name names but yeah that one's more of a see if it works for you I give Mojo fish oil coming. He won't see he and deeper sleep right now. We go sample sizes to over here. Joe Is my dog. Cler the boyfriend or something also have is they got that merger back the next on the list. Yes so you know. There's a supplement goal of the horny. Go tweet we definitely gonNA remember that the happy medium. That's what the you know the names but I took it for a little bit. You know it has some elements of other supplements that I was taking vitamin B. Six speak twelve tickets for energy. Okay so I didn't hear someone else can try that out and see what happens to them. I was perfectly macoute. Is the the other one in specific gelatinous macoute available on Amazon. That's pretty good role in so that is good for Libido all of the Maka treats that are out there like drinks or the different Mauka as macho the stuff on there but that is much I love a mock. Oh Yeah I was just GonNa go into starbucks an order that tomorrow absolutely go to. Gm Fair is really hot today. So we're all delirious artist. August is really asking too much because that'll do not going to help you out you're in Libya. Did you change your diet at all or was it mostly weren't going to jump ahead. I I want to like leave out any of this. What if it doesn't work for someone else can that's super important especially if you have gi issues And figuring out which ones work for you prebiotics. I don't take supplements. I stuck to my dietary changes onions. Garlic probiotics I increase as the amount of yogurt that I had but also took a few probiotic supplements I for anyone that doesn't gastrointestinal grass. Like I just say. Gi because it's such a long bridge. And I've I've had such a sensitive one keeps coming up in my searches that we all have gi issues. Some of US just learned to cope with it and yeah it but if you really think about it sometimes you've just really uncomfortable after eating. It really depends where I eat. Yeah that's what I found with changing diet. That's why I asked you that earlier. Going on the list. We'll those creating of taking before my workouts still taking that and then protein right after my workout high. That was interesting. One of my nutritionist in his friend said. Don't go to work out when you're calorie deficit which I was doing. Just wake up and we lake ongoing former workout workout do you yeah. But they're saying that's like you should not be carried of so if you had a big dinner then it's kind of okay. They even even a banana. Totally find something. You're something right and then right after the workout like have a protein drink supplement That works for you so that that was and then the elimination parts of Sugar Alcohol Colin Cards hard.

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It was going to say that's when I felt. The best is when I was basically doing that. Diet eliminate alcohol. Let's be honest but I did eliminate sugar carbs and it made a huge difference Energy Laurel huge difference absolutely I think again that has an impact on gi. I think sugar and alcohol Emma Oklahoma and also it's like yeah we can pick your energies up. If you're feeling like I think for me like it was like just felt better. My Body Right. 'cause it was like healthier so it's like you're gonNa feel more sexual absolutely absolutely and I think a alcoholic had impact on my quality for action. So it's like having a long-term as short-term effects yeah the upside of alcohol is it gets like things go a little right like on dates inside right but you. I can't go too much or I know your limit rice because obviously for men but then also for women you can just like pass out or not be like ready to go either so I know you might still have a list of more things that you've done. Is there more like yeah any major ones. Let's see quick break for now. So we've been talking about bio hacks for your libido how about biohacking Hacking your way to better skin and hair black with ferman grooming products are packed with natural panicles. Things like green tea didn't sing and liquorice root that naturally restore and protect your skin and hair while you wash them it's premium grooming without the premium cost especially. Because we've got a special deal for you. dateable listeners. Just go to Blackwood ferment. For Men Dot Com and use the code dateable to get twenty five percents off your entire purchase again. That's blackwood four men dot com and use the code Z.. A. T. The abbey for twenty five percent off now back to the show so I know you might still have a list of things that you've done. Yeah any major ones that can work out is the large group workouts as like super important for you to stop Lake Naturally. Add to it but I think to me I used to do the entire lake like in a lower body upper body somehow me feeling like I'm in better shape level mentally much better bench inge pressing. All the time you absorb Gordon Blake positions in the position. You're weibring architects shaped have sites. I feel like when you're when I felt like Outta shape it's like Oh my God this is not the experience like in shape like never never was the best running marathons during the one leg in. Copter gotta be you gotta point absolutely. Yeah so maybe that's the reason why haven't been getting five works. We're just trying balance of yoga much. God just let it go let it go missionary too so okay. This is a bunch of stuff. Ah One eight did you take it all at once. A time share right so you should. You must so so. I started taking some of these supplements all at the same time. Like I used to take like this. Other supplement and Reutemann somehow it was entertaining my Gi side stopped taking a but I didn't all at the same time which is not a good idea. You should in in terms of like literally Monday morning and go. Lay it out like the entire drawer full of all kinds of supplement bottles like ATAS schedule printed out on the frigerator because there are supplements you need to take with food and others without. There's all of that I wouldn't recommend doing that okay. It's important to you know. Take one supplement for week. Then take another one. See how it's raining. How many ninety five or not at some point? You need to bring it all together with doing that. He takes just not see any results right And so you. More Likely to fall off the bandwagon and just wanted to go take an easy pill kid. It's going to be sixty to ninety five in one one week. Now you gotTa have discipline and yeah. It's like going to the gym like you can't expect to lose like Shipton away like one week right. It's like as long like end to end as you say that you kind of started this whole experimentally where you are. Today Maui reduced the number of supplements. I take. Do US Josh. We're GONNA and fish oil. That's all that's it now. It's like full workout. Better sleep that like. I did all of this for two to three three months. Yeah got it when you really start feeling the effects two months after I think about two months after and so I kept going in then after that just stop you know because at some point supplements has become too much and I felt like I could work out enough right now can bench one twenty and I can go more but I got this shoulder injury also from these expansions ninety five whatever dog it was trying to avoid falling down Yup Yup so stretching his super important uh-huh understood so two months for you to really feel the facts but it's a sounds like all these supplements jump started Gir- change and once you've got that jumpstart you said okay.

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I can kind of pause on some of them and just take. The ones are really important. Because I've also heard if you rely too much on supplement your body gets used to it like Melatonin tone and you can't take it every night 'cause everybody stops producing it kind of have to jolt your body back right so supplements how this lake in a couple of things. One is a half-life and so that's something that not maybe it's like if you take a supplemental kind of go with new system. After some time you need to build up those levels within the next thing is a plateau where you can unbelievable beyond a certain level to something that you should keep saying. You mentioned you're still exercising. which has some health benefits beyond just good but then also also like I know you mentioned like you cut out sugar and carbs and alcohol? How much of that have you maintained or is there some of that kind of came back into your life? I thought that was interesting. Yeah feeling every time I buy whack like I'm done some of these things before. Not for Libido like bill some good habits and eliminate bad habits all of a sudden now I avoid bread were guards in general you just become so easy now right you know. I'm not doing it for Libido to look at it I don't I don't miss it things like you brought back then. Some things that have alcohol once in a while once in a while is like maybe two to three times a week but not overdo it right and cannabis. Lewis was another thing that I can talk. Men that work for me which now has continued is still used to use them before a natural supplement and staying so I guess what does your wife think of all those data? She's happy with the result You know she. I mean she used to tease me about like another supplement drawer. Like you know. There's so many supplements Madura Italic pull the drawer out and put it on the kitchen counter to like figure out which wants and so. She was abused with that with that whole thing but she's happy that if I used to work out a lot when you know when we met I used to work out a lot. She feels happy that lake. That's that's combining lost weight right and you probably feel better so that also seeps into yeah I would be so impressive. My partner spent this much time. Yeah on improving his house right. Well take this to takeaways because I think my biggest takeaway from this is that it's not my problem. Your a your problem is how do we work together to figure this out like yes like your wife can't physically be the one taking the supplements so in some cases there is more onus on one person over the other but instead of just doing the blame game I love this whole league notion of like. Let's make it fun. Let's like make it like something we track and see how it improves proves in like make it that we're kind of on this like experiment together and I think that is like the best way to deal with. It opposed to passing blame or just feeling guilt or all the stuff that it does come with like sexual malfunctions. I think a friend of mine said it really well like if two hundred relationship and if you have a problem if you can decouple the problem loom from the two of you. Yeah you can solve that you know more quickly and so that kind of applies to way I think about this problem and just fix it. Yeah I mean the other take have to is that light Sachs's a huge part of relationships. So I feel like Alonzo. Don't want to discuss when something's not working in the bedroom. It's like any other conflict that you have in your relationship you don't address you're GONNA get resentful and it's better to kind of put it on the table and try to work towards towards the solution and feel like I never one of sex with my partner anymore because I just can't get ended upper. They don't WanNa have sex with me because they don't enjoy it like this whole thing like it's just that's a bad slippery Tori slope. Yeah my biggest takeaway is what we do with the information we have about ourselves. I live in age were constantly. Taking personality has constantly h-honestly tracking our house our jeans but then we what do we do with that information. I love the fact that you took in that information. You're curious about why your Libido was getting any lower your energy was getting lower and not just accept it. I think a lot of people tend to get stuck in the out. I'm just this way for my my jeans. Are this way. That's just the way my personality is. Well if you want to change you actually can so what we do with. That information is way more important than gathering during mattress firm. Yeah I think there's also this thing with held them by less like the so much of information out there like every time we read about it all of us make this decision. Whether you know. This doesn't apply to me.

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It applies to this percents other person and most of it will not apply to you until you try it out for yourself and so that's that's I think the general mindset mindset of being a bio hacker yourself. I think everyone should be and they should treat everything as one doesn't matter. What commentator says or blogger says sif seeff works for you if you write up and not saying like drugs or anything that's not medically proven but anything that's like something that is natural or let's say so you WanNa try like a Kito Paleo Diet And it turns out that you actually like are really deprived in your find yourself like gorging. Yeah it doesn't work for you but maybe you actually do find that it gives you better energy. You don't mind and miss the CARBS and sugar line. coon think until you try. You don't really and what I think people can take away from this discussion. Shen is not so much eager your recipe for what worked for you so much the methodology. What you were able to do time line you were on how you were feeling before four and how you felt after those are great barometers for how people can gauge their oh methodology data oriented? You don't have to be objective with subject. It was totally fine. Yeah to that point. You don't need a partner like if you're in a situation where you're single it could just be howdy feel on a day to day. It doesn't have to necessarily solely be like I'm killing and in the bedroom at ninety five or whatever like it can just be a simple check in with yourself. Yeah my secret is always I promote wrote this supplement all the time it's evening primrose oil for any women who feel like their libido has lowered their energy has lowered or they're getting cramps more. We're and more it's worked for me. I don't can't say it's going to work for everyone but it's done wonders for me and I've been taking it for about two years now. That's fine example of like you know. In general the people who can claim that this will not scientific but in so many experiments that are scientific. Just said they haven't been in a funded by large companies. It doesn't mean that it isn't science of the oil makes you feel better and like makes you sleep better than that you're NFL and that science for you and so that is totally justified to do. Do what feels good to you. That's also great point because it's not so much about what the media promotes funded by big companies like for while milk was so. Oh good for you now. Milk is not bad for you so for a long time. This sort of sugary drink was good for you now. It's bad for me so we can listen to what the propaganda is out there. You just I have to go and experiment for yourself I think the other big takeaway too is like. You don't have to be the best you don't have to have. Not High of six orgasm could could see. This is the problem with comparison though because you were probably like great sex life just one and now you're like fuck no not the therapy so the point the point you brought up earlier on it is like no your own body your own self. Like what's the best you you can be not necessarily what's like best of the best. What is your partner want right? I mean that has come up so many times I think porn is one of those things like I have. It's like an open it's like you don't you don't have to perform that. They can. I know folks partners who you know like it one way and that's all it is and if that is what they liked that is what they like. Yeah right and be perfectly okay with his own own your sex life right S. on your sex and I think the other thing I thought was super interesting is like sometimes your sex life like experimentation abilities is deeply rooted to your wellness overall the point you brought up around like I wasn't going to try I multiple positions because I was afraid that that's really interesting that like just feeling better he might actually get more exploratory and open to try new things in the bedroom Cetera Yup and the birth also helped like a good one Sunday only get better and better and better so I think it's just a matter of like starting starting to do something the wheels turn the right wall shall we do Shauna Day comes from Robert He says I recently had sex with someone I've been dating and I had trouble getting it up. I didn't drink a ton of alcohol rain thing and not sure what is going on as a wildly attracted tour now. I can't stop thinking about it. And every time we go to have sex it becomes an issue for me any advice so I guess we don't have to go to the methodology in the remedy but any advice for him to get out of his head next time he has sex with this new girl that he's wildly attracted to a couple of things. This has happened to me where you know. The partner is so attractive than you feel like in laser performance anxiety that comes to me just comes up and take you know. Maybe she's in my case like you know she. It has been with other folks who are much better than me. I don't know if my skills match. Aw Yeah you know I. I think that that is something that you know like you just need to forget about. It's like like you who you are and you will also know that in every every couple has a different chemistry and so you should just own again like just own your your method and have a conversation.

00:40:10 - 00:45:01

I think that is. It is very hard to do when you're early in the relationship you feel like you need to just impress and that can you know put you in a in a bad spot ACRI. I would not what do that I mean I think cannabis helps a lot in common. you down immediately like no. You can't tell a partner that attracted to and just started seeing that I'll take the three months and we'll come back with like better. Yeah you can't do that now just like in the moment you know. Maybe canvassed helped the extra thirteen helps me or diesel helps outs me. That has worked for me. I think that is something that I would I would do. Ed Pills I just would not. If you can yeah Stanford. Unfortunately I would stay away from the supply everyone to know not to do. D- pills would also feel. I've taken them in our experience. The bad effects of what it also doesn't like a you know as a guy that you have taken these bills also sending link you-know-what. Now it's going to come up just because because of these mess you open in different weight also media portrayal you see these commercials for Ed Pills. And it's like older men. Who are you the sixties you don't think you don't relate to that image you don't think that's your problem? That's a good point. Yeah I mean I think like I'm just trying trying to think of like from a woman's perspective like we talked about earlier in this is come up for me to like you feel like it's something about you right so so I think the more he can kind of make it clear that it's not about her like verbally. Say Like how beautiful she is or how attracted he is nothing like he is to her like the more he can do that staff or get her off light by going down on her like there's other ways that he can do that too but I think just being open about like what could be going on and probably just trying to drink alcohol to yeah I know. He mentioned like he has already tried that. But maybe even limiting it like completely. Yeah get one variable out the way it's the easiest one to get out of the way I I would say personally. This has happened to me so many fucking times. I have this running joke with my friends at when I lived in New York. My my number of partners didn't go up because I slept with so many men who couldn't get it up so my generation never happened. Is that how you down the number. The number is only three but the thing is for many of those circumstances and I think also we were really young in our early twenty S. None of the men addressed it in fact a lot of them ghosted me right after which made me feel more like shit. I remember this one time I had met the sky at a like Sudan's museum party and we had this wonderful night together and we go back to his place and I'm very much looking forward to sleeping with him. He couldn't get it up. He kept apologizing profusely Muesli. I was like it's fine. We had a lovely evening. It's totally fine. Next morning we get up. It's in his head he can't get it up again. I'm like totally fine. Let's go to Brunch. Never heard heard from him again in a in my head I just kept thinking. Why can't you just own up to it? You know I really wanted to perform. It didn't happen for US last night but I still WanNa WanNa see you again. Or let's keep trying. That would have made it much better scenario but then I just went home. You know kind of like nothing really happened and I feel bad. What about myself He feels about himself is just not a good scenario so I would just say for you Robert just own up to it talk about it openly and let let her know that you knowledge a fact that you want to get it up and you you are working on it right and if you have the right partner she will understand exactly and she if she's not understanding great great filter absolutely. That's a good opportunity to ghost. Yeah cool anything else on this topic. Well I mean I know you have a podcast kind of a tire. What kind of relevant tell us about the podcast? Did this inspire it. Yes so the podcast called the headlines Podcast and the two of you were on on it. it's about the proverbial proverbial hell of health umbrellas and so many choices that it presented to us. And what we talk about. Every week is either Someone who's better product or had a process or has is behind Abbasi that helps out the malice And that is something that I'm excited about. Every time I have a guest yes the so much to learn in whatever they're doing yes every episode is is about learning from from someone who's done something in health and wellness and call. That might help you. Maybe maybe maybe not all. Where can you find it? And you can find it on. Gut works dot co slash podcast. And you'll be on my apple podcasts. Codify ask just about everyone on all of them get one. Was it like this experiment. That kind of made you WanNa do this or was there other inspiration that I mean. I've I've been doing doing this sort of a long time.

00:45:01 - 00:49:27

In fact the company book for Biomarker was was about this helping users figured out if a supplement or a meal plan or juice or juice cleanse for instance worked for them so. This is something that I've done even as a kid in fact I had so many. Gi issues keep coming up like an as a kid. My Parents Ernst helped me like you know biohacking to better you know GI system. So I've done that for for a very long time and for this manifestation of all these different experiments and just it could also be of finding out how can make myself better. You should do this as a side. Hustle side-hustle consulting gig help people by themselves. You have so many meet people doing it. I tried to be careful when I say I'm a biohacking. Were so good. And there's so much better with all the all the data that they collect. I WANNA be not really. I don't want to be too freaky. You found something that works for you. which is the most important thing because you live in your own body? Everybody just needs to find find something that works for them. I really appreciate the list. was there more on the list. Oh I think we've covered most of it. Okay Yeah I think it should be those devices task task tests get blood test them the best way to get the best way to measure the stars from is to get a blood test. You can also do some of these desk. It's that send you home. Some of these tasks tasks which measured only free testosterone free testosterone doesn't look dash to your blood proteins and so that is some sort of indicator off if you're fulltoss room but is not a complete indicator and there are other problems of venue. You know like Caviar Saliva Bacon. What eating before that Glut Desa? So what better. It's it's an inconvenience but I would. I would just do it. Oh Wow I didn't even know. There was untethered testosterone Roaming around ruling it out. I mean you could be fine with full distortion on but like you could blue and free testosterone. which can have a problem with others much ordering about the complicated yet so fast so fast? Biology's fascinating maybe well. I'm really bad at goodbyes to win. Wrap this up but promote your podcast which I think everyone should listen to you. Always learn something new even with our podcast. You may not find someone stating solution or methodology. Yeah you would do. You could learn something from it exact same thing. We're not prescribing. We're just learning but that's it really way to end on it for coming on dateable a show about dating and data today uh-huh coming for last but not least a dateable in this episode. We talked about everything related to biohacking your libido testosterone levels. What about some ways you can? I oh half your way to better skin and hair and that's why we have jeff from Blackwood for men here which is a line of premium. Men's grooming products made in Japan. Jeff what do you think about this breath. How did you guys talk a lot about supplements in this episode? And if you're looking for solutions that don't go. As far as prescriptions to get thicker hair or skin or less acne or get rid of Dandruff. There's all kinds of natural ingredients that can help. That's what our products are full of things. Like Green Tea and Ginseng insane and liquorice root. These are natural ingredients and get them in blackwood products at a special price Special Code Promo Code just for dateable listeners. It's twenty five percent off the entire urges dot com and just go there and use the code dateable and I just saved Jin. Seeing licorice root and green tea are also used to increase. He's Libido Schubert's finestone thanks. You want to continue the conversation. I follow us on Instagram facebook and twitter with the handle at dateable. PODCAST TAG TAG US in any post with a Hashtag stable and trust us we look at all those then head over to our website dateable podcast dot com there. You'll find all the episodes. It's as well. As articles videos and our coaching service. With vetted industry experts you can also find our premium y series where we dissect analyze an offer solutions to some some of the most common dating conundrums Roseau downloadable. For free on spotify apple podcast Google play overcast stitcher radio and other podcasts platforms James. Your feedback is valuable to us. So don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to stay dateable.