S2E11 Mr Marina

00:00:00 - 00:05:04

The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world.

And i move so i loves. We are excited. You've join us for an older episode. While our earlier seasons were all about dating in san francisco we quickly realize all the themes. Learnings are universal for all daters so we shifted to covering dating from all around the world as the seasons progress. The fun part is things happen. I san francisco the tech epicenter and counterculture capital of the world. We love for you to keep tuning in to our older episodes. But there's no set order to listen in so feel free to jump to more. Recent seasons are relevant episodes for you. Enjoy the show. This episode of dateable is brought to you by five hundred brunches. Five hundred branches connects like minded people with similar interests to meet in real life brunch. You answer a questionnaire about your interests and how you spend your time. And then they'll match you in small groups of six to eight at brunch spot in san francisco sign up at five hundred brunches dot com and use the code date able for free injury. Hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable. Show that opens up a candid. Conversation about dating and san francisco michael vargas. How is it out there in san diego. Is it just sunny and nice all the time. Basically i mean today was like seventy five degrees and it was windy. Like a nice win and then the community that i live in their offering free icies. What's yeah a little bit of paradise ally just a little bit. All right you can intro demanded that i intro. Her is my demanding. Co host and jealous co os and on each episode. We dissect story today. I believe we have mark mark you there. I'm here what's up. thanks for having me. Mark is a special one for us. Because mark is mr marina. The biggest bro in san francisco san francisco. And you're not familiar with what that means. Is that every year. There is a charity beauty pageant with men. It's called the mr marina competition. You know it's just like a beauty pageant. There's like a swimsuit competition talent. Qna formal wear. It's mostly about fundraising first and foremost for leukemia. lymphoma society but yeah and then it turns into demand pageant. At the end we all get half naked on stage so this year I went for the first time. I and my eyes were open to a whole new breed of men. So i'm very excited to have you representing that breed and good all three representative the twelve us as well as possible. so mark. what was what was your talent. My my time was actually justin. Bieber dance montage so bieber from you. Know back in the days of the long sushi. Hair baby all the way to now. Sorry so we did four songs for costumes. In the course of two minutes entire. That's really impressive. So i have to tell you this because A few nights ago. I was having dinner with a girlfriend of mine and i was telling her that. We're going to have like a marina. Bros night for podcasts. And she was like oh my four years in san francisco. I've never gone to marina to want you to hang out. I've gone to marina to work out to you. Know get brunch but never gone out in the marina. So she's like what are they like. She was so curious she's like schiffer the same roseling on the marina hanging on polk street. Or you guys are spreading. I mean we have rec room here. That sound the street and that's basically grows. Yeah as the same thing. So i told her that you know they're just like us. They're no different people silly party. Same things everyone else does. And she's just like. I just assumed that they stuck to their own but she she wants to say hi and she hopes to meet you guys monday marino. Sure that you know it's still fun. She'll bring her passport is a. It's not that much. Broader the rest of san francisco so mark. You have a few stories for us. Yeah yeah two stories. So mattel the worst. I date of urban on and the best person i've ever been. How long have you been in san francisco. I've been in san francisco for five and a half years on with your dating stories. You're going to tell us a the best state and sort of the worst. So the worst state i went on was off of tinder.

00:05:05 - 00:10:01

So i've been on that handful but this was probably couple of years ago and start off that this girl start chatting a little bit and and on tinder usually chatting with. I don't know like five or so different girls. Maybe at the same time are seeing where it's going and some kind of trail off and you'd never know whatever and situation is people are. Everyone's got a story that you don't know about so some of their by someone else and they drop off so you of have to like which ones are gonna anywhere and this girl. Just send the asked me out okay. Kind of aggressive. But you don't get outside by girls. But sure i'll go for it and she asked me out and it's like a sunday. She thinks she earlier in the day on sunday. Do you wanna grow okay. She goes same day. Ask as we earlier in the day like noon or something like that. Do you want to go meet up tonight. Drink and like. I've nothing going on chair sue it. Just see where this goes. It's meeting a person like you can wait a long time. Just messaging definitely so. I think we are playing for like seven o'clock and so we're going to be actually where the was going to be. Yeah i walked by the way here do go to bar none or requiem or those two options you know play. Some games may break it up a little bit. So this can. That's seven and then very around six thirty six. okay. I push back to eight okay. Fine whatever no big deal then it starts getting closer to eight bush back eight thirty okay and i got a call from her and like i have on the golden gate bridge. I take this person back the rain. But i'm on my way back like this kind of frantic story. That was like of really weird. There's some girl who was like drunk she to take back and then then okay so now. It's nine we meet up. And i'm sitting there at rec room at nine waiting waiting waiting. It's nine fourteen. I'm like texting like hey are you coming. I mean literally like okay. This is like it's been kind of ridiculous push around need to do. This was super into this girl. I didn't really know where that well. And then she walks into a rise. I'm leaving like kind of a bit of a mess in a little bit. drunk clearly. like three drinks. Three to four seven similar to other stories of heard She needed us a lot of instagram. Filters on our profiles. I was a little disappointed in pictures may have been from multiple years ago and things you know. She's look the same exactly she used to. I was a little disappointed. So whatever i'm already there might as well hang out there. And so so she did apologize right away for being late ends like insisted on buying a drink which i thought was very very nice my okay maybe maybe a rough day something happened so that was very nice. She didn't by your because she was late. And i was like. Oh no no no no please. And so we sit down and start talking and she starts going through. Stressful or day was realizes. It's a little brother's birthday and so she's on the phone texting him. She goes outside calling him in the coming back and forth and like. This really wasn't a good day for a day. And then she tells me how some guy was up from out of town visiting her and that's where she got having drinks earlier so it didn't quite aligned with some of the stories and timelines and bar. Even you're the one who wanted to meet up at this point. I'm not seeing this. This is going to be really good story for my friends. Like this is gonna be a good for a dating hawk like came there. One played darts. Let's go to. Let's go shelf aboard. So we we find two people that are out on sunday. Nine thirty people were like traveling staying in a hostel people who don't have to go to work or going to say so. There was like girl from japan. And this guy from like and this point of already kind of annoyed that scrolled drunk and everything but so we're on the same team and we have to go to opposite ends play shuffleboard. Asrat explain the rules to our and we're playing shoot all four alternative person. You're playing guns and shoot one and go sit down on the phone and texting and calling her brother like trying to make all these excuses really. Sorry like it's just the birthday feel bad and like the foreigners who never played before it started getting really annoyed with her and so towards the end of the game. This girl is from japan. She's like leans. In are all american like like a completely honest question to me and i hope not. I hope not like. I don't know this was out there like i. I gotta move to another. See what i gotta do. It was so bad so eventually we call the game early and like all right. Well let's let's just go home and make sure she gets home save. She'd been drinking a little bit and so if we find out that she lives very close to rack room that it was maybe a reason to chose restroom and so started walking. And you say we'll come back with me and as like let me just see that you get in your front door and give me a very big hogs. They come on now.

00:10:01 - 00:15:02

It's a sunday now. I gotta get to bad. Like i mean obviously want nothing to do with at this point like lets. You want to get them safe but didn't wanna lost all interest. Yeah so the next day she text me. Hey sorry if. I was a little weird. I was a little tired a once at like noon to like four pm. Again like my. Yeah exactly like it's not that didn't go through got it can finally ventures like. Oh no words okay. It was nice to meet you like hope. You're having a good monday or something. Really generic and not at a probing for anymore conversation for me one of the most annoying things that fresh the shit out of me and i don't really know how to handle it. All the time is when people just disrespect my time like lead disrespect disregard and this girl. That's awesome did during. That was a big part of what she did. Was i seven. And then pushing it back later and later and later. And then when she's there she's not focusing on the date is focusing on you. I feel like she double books probably was in the left the other day. Yes she liked to guys out tonight and see what happens. She was getting wasted on. This date lost track of time when outside called you and said i'm on the golden gate bridge ridiculous and came back and was like oh shit i gotta get get to this other day and i bet the other day it was probably right around the corner. Hide out or something like that. I feel like double booking is is. I don't know it sounds like crap to me. Like i'm going to date out five and know that at eight. I'm going to us. Wanna stop seeing this person. I think that already disrespects their time. Like the possibility of what can happen and completely takes away from what the relationship might be. Yeah i think he wanna leave time for you wanna put an limit on a date. It's like if you're having a great time. You wanna be able to keep hanging out. So how do you feel about girls who are a little bit shit face when they come a date. That's a little bit weird guy. Feel again a babysitting a little bit or okay. Got take some shots and catch up. So we're on the same level out with girl her bed. She's getting drunk on started sober. I think that's fine. You're saying okay. Go onto your best story already. And so my buses or a girl. I'd met through friends like in a sports league and we'd are like the first night we hung out through the league and we kinda hung out with quite a while that night and i think even kissed her that first night and so. I wonder this next day kind of knowing that like okay. There's definitely some sexual chemistry there. she's cute. I definitely likewise really excited. I knew i was already attracted to her. And we haven't we met in only the little wine bar down here on a thursday or friday night. She was actually over seas from australia. And so shoes over here like working a job for a bit before she had to go back and got a little wine and cheese. Platter conversations really good. She was a lawyer back in going to be a lawyer back in australia. And a little bit and Just hit it off. Conversation wise super sweet charming nights and like great conversation. They have good banter. It's not you just talking or vice versa and you're not like quizzing each other on like what you do. Somebody's turn into like an interview when they kind of like bounce off each other and have fun stories. It goes a little better versus kind of dry like so. What do you do for work. You gotta give a one-sentence response than back and forth. So then we ended up things and one thing led to another and we'll go through detailed here. I always love how all our guests never say. Yeah we went home and fuck. It was always like hey thing with another you. Can you want but the funny thing is like she could later. Talk about like told me. We became boyfriend girlfriend after this for like seven months and until she had to move back to australia always funny like i would never have done that with another guy like but i was on holiday. You know for australia. Is this year trying to have fun. If you're going to be my boyfriend for seven months. I would never have done that but was just fun night. Girls on holiday or vacation have a completely different mentality than girls in their home city. Their friends true. That actually is helpful feedback. The key phrase here is no expectations when you're on vacation it's like yeah pressures off and when you don't have expectations dates are always better for some reason. 'cause you're like let's just see where the night goes that's five interviewers of were 'cause you're like mentally checked off the ice this this i think for date it's better to just have it like in different spots moving around and doing different things just like mark side like okay. We got to sit down and have like a thing of wine right. That's an experience and then we're going to go do something else.

00:15:02 - 00:19:57

another experience. it makes them more dynamic different elements of the personality. Come out and it just makes it a lot more fresh. I do think that Even for me personally. It's good to put on vacation hat. When you're out on dates just treat san francisco as vacation and let the other person show you their san francisco so i want to ask you this mark. Why is this date so unique for you that you've brought it up as one of the best states because when you put it on paper like if you wrote a novel and this story came up it'd be like that's just very normal. It wasn't like didn't stand out like fireworks at the end. Like some sort of crazy rescue story or anything like the connection was right there like immediately just had the most fun like jokes make laughing the entire day. I think those important that we had a solid connection. Sometimes i come from a date. And i go. That was one of the best days i've had. Does he feel the same way and to hear your take on. What you thought was a good date of like in line with some memorable dates. That i've had and they don't have to be extravagant. They don't have to be elaborate is just about connection and showing each other. Who you are you a. Do you have any takeaways. From these stories i think my takeaway was. I really liked this. Whole vacation mindset. I'm going to start dating like i'm on vacation. Be respectful of people's time for me. I think mark you did a really good job of showcasing. How marie men don't have to be douche bags. I'm marina bros. are dateable. that's what we wind. Hopefully i represent the twelve twelve. The nicest guys twelve nights as i do agree. You guys are very nice. i'm a supporter. i'm a bro. lieber drily do. You have a question of the day so keen from john and he said i know this girl group of friends. We've met lake in real life like we're talking about. How do i make the transition. Though to more than france it will that ruin our friend. Or if i do so i think one of the first things to do is if you're hanging out as a group and you hung out quite a few times as a group and then you gotta start doing more individuals stuff so since you already know her a little bit you can say something. What is something that you both like to do or want experienced. Engineers go do that. I personally don't believe in keeping platonic friends so if you don't have if you have non platonic feelings for a friend pursue those feelings and if they don't work out then don't keep them as a friend very black and white with michael said you can invite some honor like you know smaller groups and i think if a girl out of its girl or guy i think you can. People usually give signs of their into someone. Let's person's really really shy and there aren't those then. Maybe there's just want to be friends. Only and i've seen times where people put themselves out there and friends that i i wasn't into him or they maybe they did hook up while and then goes over but it didn't always brune the friend group of your road. Polite people like they can still be friends and can move on. They're like okay. Well that didn't work out. Every every group of friends has lived in san francisco for like you know grew more than three or four years. There's a lot like incest. That's occurred within that group seattle. It's like friends everyone who use history and then like some new book are. We can talk about all that really at least few months. We can't scare them off. Exactly okay. i'm happy with that. Yeah so folks. Don't forget to submit your stories and you can always be anonymous. We'd like to protect the innocent. And i think my homegirl got two more words for yet. Two more words. A few more words i want. Thank mr marina mark rabin marina mark for any ladies who've never ventured out into the marine who are curious about marine man. You can always reach out to mark. He will be happy to transition you And last finale. Day data you don't want instead of trying to date within your own friends circle. How 'bout you meet some new friends who could turn into something more. Five hundred branches is here to connect you with people with similar interests. You never know you'll meet come alone or bring a friend. There's always a table full of friendly faces. Most says an eggs benedict in fact. That's how michael julian i met. That's right at a brunch sign up at five hundred branches dot com and use the code date able for free entry to connect with us visit date. Able podcast does come.