Season 10 Episode 18: The Future of Sex Toys

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The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world. Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of dateable a show. All about modern dating has been trying week for many lots of abortions and lots of unraveling. I think that's the word that I keep using is just unraveling the system that we live in a raveling the world that you thought was, and is now an unraveling yourself and what you've thought about in the past, and even though we're dating podcast, I still feel like what we're going through, right. Right now in the world is so relevant to how we date as well I mean this is like the bigger picture of how we view people, and how our own unconscious bias sees can affect our dating decisions to Yep so I. I hope everyone taking action in some way or another you don't I'm to be as Voelkel Assam or as active as others, but are you doing for yourself that you're taking action in some way and Julia? Julia I know. You just came back from a protest. Yeah, I, did I went to one and it was actually nice. It was really I think the positive. That's come out of this week is just seeing all the people band together? That's been really positive and just show support and doesn't need to be like one way or another. There's so many ways to show support like I've seen people saying that they're reading. Books are watching documentaries or Or learning the history more and then others are going out to the protests, which honestly like I think it all depends on your comfort level. I think especially with cove nineteen. It's definitely not gonNA fault anyone for not going, but also like the one I went to everyone was in mass. It was relatively people far away so I think you can find ones, too that match your comfort level like I. Don't know if you saw this video. Video Way, but it's like this video of the mission district in San Francisco there was like ten thousand people out name like a high school. Senior started this protest. It was just so moving like the video of all the people on the street, and just even today just seeing people like kind of with signs and chanting and I think it's really just given everyone alight into their blind spots, and like really just meet us more aware and. And just more actionable. What were you guys chanting today? So I mean there were definitely many chance of like. Just black lives matter obviously the names of everyone that's been affected by this. There were chance about just like undoing. The silence like there were many different ones. It's hard to list them all out to be honest, but yeah I mean I. Think Lake also like I was with some friends and they're like I. Realized I'm not. Not really like someone that likes to chant and I. think that's okay, too. It's like you're showing up in whatever way you can, and that's really what matters right now and also I think one of the things that some of the members of our facebook group and other people have said to. It's like this isn't GonNa, just end tomorrow over I like this is just a continued fight in just like continued involvement by all end. It's recognizing. Recognizing just like what is going on in all parts of lives like we talked about last week like we re released an episode about racism dating 'cause. This doesn't just show up in. The police shows up everywhere. Yeah, I mean. Thank you for the invite to the protests today. I thought about it I personally. I'm just not ready to be around people at this point, and it's just not a place where I feel like I can channel. Channel my energy, but I'm super curious. What protests are like? I've never been part of one I mean that's a great to hear from first hand perspective of what you experienced today. Yeah, and I think that's okay like I know you've taken part in many other ways like with charities in all that stuff in yet like we've been saying there's not really one right way to go about this kind of like. There's no one right way to do. Do anything in life, but I think as long as you're using this time to be working on yourself and seeing what comes up for you and how you turn into change. That's really the most important. No matter how you do it and I think one of the ways we can do that on this podcast is that this isn't a one week to week one month? Thing that I think we continue to ask ourselves. What are the limiting? Limiting beliefs and the biopsies that we're putting onto this situation especially when we talk about these dating stories I, think you and I can definitely question ourselves more I mean we already asked the UAE, but like this time from now on, we got to ask the why, but then and why, and the and why in just keep asking the why and really again using this word unravel unravel unravel all the time and thank you to all of.

00:05:14 - 00:10:09

Of Our listeners your responses to our episode last week, it was a very tricky episode that I have to commend Julie for editing together and packaging together. Because we like what is right to say what is wrong are what should be our stance. And what do we need to put out there in the world and I really think that episode last week was just a sample of some the conversations we've had on our show and will continue. Continue to grow these conversations, so thank you to everyone who responded and gave us feedback on the episode of You have listened to go back and listen. It's a compilation of dating stories related to racism and dating. Yeah, specifically around black experiences, so we definitely have says and other ethnicities that we've represented, and hopefully there's. Does it get to a point that we did to showcase those, but we highly recommend that you go back and listen to. To all of them right, but I think we really wanted to focus on some of the struggles that are black listeners in guests that have come on the show have expressed before because I think these sometimes these race ones are easy to skip over, and we don't blame anyone for doing that a lot of times. You say Oh, this doesn't pertain to me and it's not just race. It's like we've had episodes of like people coming out. Out or whatever it may be, it's like it sometimes, not relevant to whatever you're going through at the time, but I do think there is like immense value in these types of episodes, because it really gives us that empathy that we can start to have for other pinball, and until you hear other people's stories like it just doesn't become fully real, and I think it's just it's so important I'm glad that we got opportunity and also not. Not just for anyone that missed it. We have had a lot of listeners so anyone that we have like hundreds of episodes of totally get that. You might have missed this these two in the past. Some glad that we got opportunity to hear these voices again and re release it re listening to those two episodes. I have to say I'm still in shock by what Chris said with the race totem pole that his friend told him that. To recap. Asians are at the bottom, and then it's black men, and then it goes up from there. White white men are at the very top of this is what someone told. If, it's just so shocking to me and I cannot believe that. In twenty twenty people are still saying Shit like that I know it just shows that we still have a long long way to go, but I think the silver lining of this is. It's like kind of hitting it a perfect storm with corona virus in. It's like it has everyone's attention. People are already like worked up. You know cabinets like anger that they wanna get out and I feel like this time. Like may actually make a difference like people are really responding to this, and it wasn't just like a new story that went away after come days. I hope I hope it continues, and like we've said it's. Going to be like a out every week. We talk about it. We hope this can just be a continued conversation and all that we do with dateable. Outside of dateable in everyday life it's interesting you bring that up from a sociological point of view My was talking to a friend of mine about this, and he said you know why now like he kept asking why now and it's really because of Corona virus that there is no, there are no sports to distract us. There's no movies for us to go to. And that's why this news really got the attention that a dirt deserved at. It's about time, but that's like a perfect storm. In some ways of change needed to happen during this time. Yeah, I read this quote. I think it was one of our guests. Bro Gas Stewart I sat on his account. And I think it was just such a great quotas, basically like what if twenty twenty wasn't canceled? If this was like the year that we all need it all of this in one year, it's like we will never forget this year in history. Like how many other years can we say that for and I think? Again, like I. DON'T WANNA. Diminish anything. That's happened to anyone at all, but I think for everyone that's in a fortunate position that they're not sick or they're not hurt like. Let's try to re wire our brains to think about this as kind of a blessing that were able to make this change right now. ooh, rewiring our brain. That is a great way to talk about our episode for this week and I know. When you saw the title of this episode. You're probably like sex toys and what racial inequality, but I think it really helps to listen to other struggles as well and just to learn how others have overcome. What has been systematically been the way it's done before so I think sex toys is actually a really great example.

00:10:09 - 00:15:14

Where for decades sex toys were made for one. One of body, one type of woman and they were, it was made by men and all of a sudden Laura. Decarlo our guest on our show today comes in, and says no I need to make a sex robot, not even calling it a toy that will fit different body types different needs because every woman is so different. Stop oppressing us with the sex toy you've made. Made for this one body type, so our guest today is here to talk about the sex of me walls, four familiarity sick of sex toys. She's invented, but it's really about this fight for women's pleasure. And how how do we own our own pleasure and get it back from people who I invented it, which was not a woman. Yeah, I, mean we go through in the. The episode, but we go through the whole history of vibrators. I don't know about you never done that research outside of this episode, it was fascinating. Just not gonNA to give too many spoilers, because I want everyone to listen, but just why vibrators were need in the first place unreal, but on sale I think this is also coming at a perfect time with corona virus, right? Okay. We've been in quarantine for a bit easing out now into the real world, but we're still not there and I think even having sex with new people. It's GonNa. Be It's GonNa be a little right because it's like I know there's germs and all that so i. think one of the things that's really come up over quarantine. Though is pleasure yourself with sex toys, right? Owning your pleasure just because we're in quarantine doesn't mean that we can't be having orgasms. Experiencing great things in life, and we talked about it on the virtual sex episode where we other creative ways to really like still get it on, and like have that sexual pleasure in a lot of that really comes down to sex toys, because that's how you like one way that you can work with what you got in potentially just by yourself to relate. Relate back to what's going on in the world. Right now is the fort like a lot of us just seem to accept what's given to us I. Mean That's how I'm conditioned to be so with sex toys and vibrators I assume all the choices are out. There are made for me if I don't get pleasure from those toys than there must be something wrong with magic one. That's the Magic Wand Julian. You'll hear all about this story, but. What has worked for others has worked for me and made me feel ashamed and made me feel inadequate, and it made me feel like I could not discover and find my own pleasure when in fact I just shouldn't kept asking why. Why why? Why were these these sex toys invented the way they were, and why was I not getting the pleasure? I was seeking, and this is exactly the world we should be living in this time is that we just gotta keep asking wine and read about the history. Learn and educate ourselves, and then we can actually. See this future that is a that's a future that we all want to live in, and not the not what currently are experiencing which is all this craziness, but it's a good thing. It's a good thing to back to sex. The sex industry sex tech industry we're talking about. We do want to make some predictions, and you'll S- you'll hear the whole episode and I want to see if you agree with us, but my prediction for the future of sex toys is that it will no longer be this thing that you're shamed of you. Put in your door along with like your like your I. Don't Know Love Letters from your sixth grade boyfriend I don't know where. Their chores along with your condoms right? It looks like the everyone. Has that like Naughty Jor I don't know I call it a naughty jor. That sex toys will now be part of your decor you can. You can put it out there and not be ashamed of it, and you can ask you go to someone's house and you can ask people about their sex toys openly Badass a future of sex industry. Just check for four I. Give Predictions I, remember I was at one of our mutual friend's house, and I went into her living room, and I was like. Is that a vibrator? Standing up in your living room and she's like it's a cat toy. That looks like A. But I agree I if she wanted to put a vibrator, who cares? You know there's still such stigma with vibrators and self pleasure, and even like on the virtual sex episode like I feel like I over shared a lot of my love for virtual set. No, you did not over shares is the. Deter that episode. Early okay great and my brother, but millions of other people are not your brother so good, but I was like why am I shaved of it? Though like I don't yes sex wake, he's married like it's not like. Why is it so shameful to like have sex by yourself with a toy? Like why is that such a shameful thing? And my prediction is that it is going to become less shameful also but I think part of the reason why it's shameful is just like the structure of them I mean if you look at the magic, Wand.

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Wand is loud is huge. You've to plug it into the wall. Honestly if I lived with a roommate, I would be super embarrassed to use it so loud. Right like I. Couldn't so I think it's like I think the future is the design of sex toys is going to be a lot more realistic I think and I think it's not just going to be like. Here's a box. Go figure it out where it's been before and like I. Don't know about you, but like when I got my first vibrator one. It was like so shameful. Shameful it's like go into good vibrations. I was like putting my hand over my head. Like so no in the street would see me, and then you get in. I'm like I just. WanNa get out of here because I. Don't know I feel uncomfortable. There's a zillion different sex toys like I feel like it's going to become a world where one you can just walk in, and it's almost like an experience, and it's like something that you want to do in their people that can kind of guide you through what the right ones are for. For your body and you can really start to understand also. That's the other thing it's like sex toys are super expensive like hundreds of dollars and I know. I've been like ten to get one I'm like what if this does nothing for me? Because I've got an wants before the, don't do anything so I think we're going to be in a world where you know it's helping you get through it. It's not just like order it on Amazon and then hope no one ever sees the box and you get in your. You're on your own. That's interesting, because if you go to target and you're trying to find condoms, it's like in the pharmacy. I'll maybe eventually. There's going to be a pleasure I'll and so it's a condoms. It's a lube. It's sex toys. That's books educational material I think that is a really great point if we have guidance at target on. Products for oily skin then there should be guidance on products for personal pleasure. Yeah, I mean. We've had like one of our past sponsors. It was like a wine club. It's like you taste different wine nuts now to say, just be like playing with each other vibrators, but maybe there's a way. You can like somehow no, like for example for me, I love the magic wand, but I want something that might be a little smaller. I want something then might not have to plug in like. How can I find? Other recommendations were like what is it about the sensation of that that I could get somewhere else like I think like having that. Follow up recommendations on different products in like having Munoz demised. You I think that would just make it a lot easier and I think we're going to also enter into this world where it's not like. We talked about this a bit with Dr Alexandra someone. Season episode one taking sexy back on our season opener and I think what she really brought something up to my attention. It's like historically all thought like Oh. I use sex toys when I'm single when I don't have any prospects, but it doesn't need to be just for now i. think that's where it's GonNa go is it's an education on your body in? That doesn't matter if you have a partner or not in. In if you have a partner, it's GonNa Start to be seen as not like not satisfying you 'cause you're using a sex toy is gonNA. Be Like it's an extension. It's another option for you, or maybe it's GonNa just become more of the norm that you even use them together. Yeah, and as you hear from Laura Decarlo in this episode was. She's invented as something that it cannot be done by one human beings. A toy that it's not like it's to. Simulate Your partner? It's to supplement and some maybe sometimes replace. Before we get into the episode, we we've a couple of outfits. You've got to run down the announcement and we'll get to the good stuff, but I think the first one that we have is thank you for everyone that has left those ratings and reviews. We've seen a huge lift in the last couple of weeks, and you guys don't understand how much this helps us, so if you haven't done it yet, really really would really be great. If you can leave. A rating literally takes two seconds to just hopefully hit five stars, but hit whatever you feel is accurate and if If you're so inclined to leave that review. Also just you know like we've seen some really wonderful reviews and I get like a little teary eyed, what I read them, so it makes me really happy to see how you guys are feeling, and if there's things that you want more of, it's a good time to give feedback to, and also going to make a little extra plug I know in the UK. K., no one really uses apple products, so our reviews are very low there. So if you are a UK listener and you do have access to either tunes are apple. Apple podcasts. It would mean the world if you could go in and make that reading a review, because honestly your one will make a huge difference for shore in the last.

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Ask is join our facebook. Group are secret facebook group love in the time of Corona by the dateable podcasts, exactly like that. We've been having some really insightful and interesting conversations. We get silly to. It's not just about deep conversations, but what I love about this group is that everyone's there with our speaking from the heart we treat each other with kindness and respect, and I feel like we've been really helping each other. Get through some tough times. It's like a virtual support group of of sorts so definitely. Check us out you can. You're hearing it here? It's a secret group private group, so go search for love. Time Corona by the data podcast and we're going to start up the happy hours again. People loved the happy. Happy hours it was a great way to connect with other listeners. Honestly, we have such a diverse group like I think that's something that's been so wonderful. Diverse in ethnicity diverse in released iverson age diverse in life experience like you run the gamut, but everyone is so kind and respectful, so if you're looking for ways to like, have immediate action, it's about your community right and no better way than to be with other people that are kind of really trying to empower themselves when it comes to creating the relationships. They want in life so before. Before we get to Laura Decarlo I. Just want to thank our sponsor. Generation Tux for making this episode happened while during this time. Many plans are being postponed especially the big day for some we still want to pass along this great offer from generation talks for wind plans resume again for all you men out there planning your special day. Generation talks takes away the headache of finding you the perfect Tux you simply create your look align including your grooms party and everything arrives within fourteen days of your big day at your doorstep. You can also. Also get free swatches delivered straight to your door. And after the big event you just put everything back in the box and use a prepaid legal to drop off a ups Boom Bang. You're done, so keep note of this free shipping. Free swatches free home. Try on now you can save money and time with generation tux checkout, generation dot com slash dateable and use the Promo Code dateable for ten percents off your entire grooms party again. That's generation. Talks Dot com slash dateable and checkout with Code Dat AB L. E.. Now let's get to Laura. Gas We have on today's show. Is someone that I met in person? E. S in January of this year and Suzanne met her I texted Julia and said we gotta get her on her show. Off like. I'm putting it down now. Let's do it. People are going to call her people right now. Her name is Laura Hanoch. She is the face CEO the founder of Lord Decarlo, a sexual health and Wellness Tech company I would classify yeah, and and sex education beyond all that she currently lives in bend. Oregon. She's been there for almost eight years, but she's from everywhere in California been all around. She's thirty four years old and she currently has a partner now. The biggest news is before write letters speak and we see her on video right now. She's like yes. Yes, yes, yes is! something really interesting because I see us every year. It's been like six years for me and last year. What would happen was a Laura's company had a sex product. That was that one and innovational Warsi as innovation. Award and A month later they resented the award and took it away, saying that the product was profane, a was offensive. And basically a shed light on how the tech industry was viewing gender biases, yeah, also just female sexual health. When for years since I remember the first year I went to see us at a sex robot, and that could give you blow jobs, and that's what they had on the show floor, and what was more infuriating about this entire situation and I told you about this, Julie. was that not only was the award taken away from her. They were not allowed to show the show floor. Either so why did they take it away? Because they said it was profane, it was. That's more profane than giving blow jobs out. And that's why Laura raised hell. She was like Oh, hell! No is not how it works and she got the Award Back Nan. Apologized was so great about the entire situation. was that not only did bring so much publicity for company Mora, but also shed light on what was happening behind the scenes on how the CPA really operated, and they apologize, which is fantastic, but they were. They also gave her the award back and this year. Cs I told Julie, there was an entire sexual wellness category that was created had never existed never existed before because roster.

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Your word was given in the robotics and drones category claw. And she had many questions about how this product, even a drone. Okay definitely need a sexual wellness. You're kidding. Pave the way because this year. The sexual wellness show floor was huge, and you'll so so many sex products, and there were so there was so much interest, not just from press for from the attendees there it's been an historical event basically in changing the entire tech industry, but before we get into your company, Lord Carlo You always say this in your interviews. You build your company off this incredible orgasm you had. I want to hear about this. We are a podcast in all of your other interviews and kind of skip over the details, but this is where what ask you. Girl there's no TMI here. How do this work Azam? Come about what was the like? How are you able to achieve it? So a little bit of background information that was I was dating alight I was single into I was dating this one particular person who really knew what they were doing and was also very sadly like very much a broken I have no idea what to. Do with my relationships in my life kind of person. Certain point in their life, I guess. But I was like Whoa Dan. They're going bed. There was one point where I remember just going holy crap. What's happening Holy Crap Holy Crap Holy? Crap Holy God in literally in Hindsight I did the research. Actually having an orgasm is actually very much akin or close to physiologically having a seizure get there are a lot of symptoms that are very similar, and so I remember literally just about vibrating off the side of the bed, and like landing with like my shoulders, and my back hitting the ground, one leg still hitched up on the bed Kinda, drooling a little bit in in the light were. Bliss. Is Going Holy Shit toll. My Gosh, how do I do that again? You're never experienced that before, not that we. What was she doing exactly I think I need more details like. What she do. And was A. Full body organism, so what they were doing was actually stimulating the clitoris, using their timely, the grand clarisa part you see on the outside and using their hands their fingers to stimulate the the juice by. Also like I. was doing that like Oh my God oh my God. Oh my God like shrink away from it. Kinda thing like this is really intense and they're like. No, you're not gone anywhere and. Kinda got like shut up against Solano's like Oh my God I'm literally like this is so intense I'm going to explode in so many different sensations. We're going on at same time. They were using that. Come hither motion. Sweeping motion over the top of my glance over the top of the g spot on all performing links over the top of the the glands clitoris in my head might as well like roll off my body, and it was this full body orgasm where like I went into spasms and like was literally twitching for the longest time in Kinda dopey. Like I shall. Hi had that before you holly have far. Yeah, it's what you call the blended orgasm. Hung and chant oblivion orgasm is kind of a misnomer because what we're really doing here in women's health actually coined the term blended orgasm on years ago when they described Oh. It's when you stimulate the glands clitoris. End The g spot in it happens to be. The g-spot is made up of the same erogenous tissue as the clitoris. It's all a part of the same erogenous. On in your just really what you're doing is you're going at it from one side and the other. You're stimulating the whole clitoris. is about the same size as happy your hand I would rather call them dual or. Or like just complex orgasms where you can stimulate the Glens clitoris and the interior for Knicks shown that is that it's for your cervix meets the canal at the front edge that can be a really intense orgasm, not for everyone but holy Shit. I love this because I have had that, but I've never been able to put any vocabulary that you just put a high. Anterior Hornets. Just rewind like I, never even looked at my vagina till I was like thirty. So can we talk about email anatomy? Zones whoa yeah. WHAT'S A G spot? Can you just give us a quick rundown I'm sure men and women are probably how do I do? Right or myself? Absolutely we'll start on the outside and then go to the inside the best way to start that arousal processes to stimulate. Put her in other parts of the body, not actually just going straight insights that can actually cause some problems in in discomfort, the exterior anatomy, the Boba there is the external Labia, and then inside that the national lips is the Labia.

00:30:11 - 00:35:02

Minora that you do see that little guy in the boat. That's where the little. Not Little Guy in the boat He's wearing a little raincoat. That's Labia Minora. The vaginal lips come up and they they connect at the very top and create a hood over the glance Clitoris Endon underneath is where you find the rest of the body of the clitoris, but then when you go inside the vaginal canal, some of the most not like well known is the g spot of the graph enberg spot. It's about the size of a quarter or a walnut knit actually feels kind of. Of like a squishy walnut, but it feels a little bit more firm than than surrounding tissue in when you're properly aroused, it can be extremely sensitive when you push on that in you are aroused. What can happen is you start becoming more arousing. You're pushing into that GPS, but a lot of people have reported like I feel like I have to pee in that I. I'm like I need to stop and I run to the bathroom in like you know you missed the best heartache. In line. because. You were on your way to having a squirting orgasm. In what's happening when you stimulate that particular area on the scenes gland, it actually starts producing hormones in it dumps. These hormones appear substance into the bladder, and it's not urine. There are trace amounts of urea because there has been you're in there, but it's trace amounts. It's not actually your when you stimulated enough. You have a squirting orgasms you'll literally you can start out with a completely empty bladder. It will fill up with this specific law with the suggested. It's female ejaculate, and you can have a squirting orgasms in most people are so terrified because they get the urge to P.. M. In there so shamed by it and there there's more Shane. It's okay I feel like I just wet the bed. No, YOU'RE GONNA. You'RE GONNA. have an amazing orgasm is which what was GonNa Happen? So keys annual? Yeah, a squirting orgasm. Yeah, everybody has g-spot in. It's just it's the only reason that that people are like. Oh, it's not for me, it's it's honestly because we're so shamed around all of this. Because you know, we try once by somebody that told us how to do it. How they think is the right way. Guess what your body's not the same as there's your body is not the same as as glamour or Cosmo or Or any other lifestyle magazine tells you it is. It's everybody's a little bit different. It takes some time it takes patience, and it takes himself love and everybody can get there it just everybody's going to get their different times at different stations in different points in their life, and it takes honestly just take some like being really comfortable with your body, and being really patient so I I so long in my twenties never experienced this, and then it was actually a situation you were talking about earlier that that intense or was what kind of got me there. They probably twenty eight, and then lay now. It doesn't happen all. It was twenty two. And that's like a question to was adjust that I wasn't awoken. Tilden or just like didn't have experienced the right word Azam's. What was that turning point, or was it just letting? Go combination I think it's a combination of things for me. I was I was definitely on kind of a sexual journey, and I was really trying to embrace my sexuality. More and I was experiencing that with different partners with myself. I even dated some couples honestly, and it was just really it had nothing. Nothing to do with like particularly like how I identify at the time, or or my sexuality was just I just wanted to know. What have I not tried in in? What am I missing in a lot of things I found out? Get I wasn't missing on much, but something's found. It was like wow, that really that just tickles my forgive pickle. I love that, but you know it's going to be different for every single person so I think of partner messages go and just try it. In, don't don't chastise. Yourself did more for you. Try something else going. It's the same thing with like hits trying sports or or learning and trying to figure out what kind of learner you are so many other applications, but we treat sexuality with such a stigmatization. We're like. Oh, it, try the one thing and I just didn't like it, so I don't like. And some people don't like or cabinet worked up to the. Interior for Suraj in sewn stimulation. It's super freaking intense, and it's a little too much for some people personally I love it obviously at the beginning when it first happened, I was definitely like Oh my God, what is happening? I like thought like the bed right and yeah I would say like probably the majority of men that a tap with have loved it. There was one that I don't know if I was the first person. He's ever experienced this man, but he literally like when it happened. And? It's like one of those things you don't WanNa tell people it's going to happen because then if it doesn't happen, doesn't happen with everyone and that's awkward in.

00:35:03 - 00:40:00

It happened in he immediately like went to like. Get like he wants went to take sheets off in like put them in the dryer. The washer and dryer is it was like so free town about it, and then I got some insulted by it, and then it just like totally ended anybody relationship there because of these. Yes. It kills me because that historically accurate to say that a lot of folks have viewed this particular fluid as being like sexual ambrosia like. I haven't read stories about partners that do this intentionally so that they can it. What not even kidding? Not even joking? I've done a lot of weird research obviously. Interesting like. bessie, Male, orgasms or betsy like. Apple Steiner, but I will say this was definitely not ninety nine percent of men frigging love it so. It just goes back to how we build his narrative around male sexuality as a result of your orgasm, Laura you research mode to see how you can replicate. To replicate there's an entire orgasm process and you found that there was just so much knowledge around male pleasure, the much about female pleasure, and I found the same thing. It's a female experiences penetration. That's pleasure for her. The Vagina is so complicated. There's so many layers, but we don't talk about how we can stimulate the different layers of China. We just think one sort of penetration boom. You're in and just hit that. God I can't even tell you like a lot of males or am. Females just asks hey, can I can I give her a g spot orgasm with my Dick and I'm like actually. No, it's like almost impossible to stimulate the g spot on with Phallic. Thing you actually have to press into the anterior wall of Bachelor. Now in order to do that. just because of the way that the scenes plan is physicians position in the way that if you want that squirting orgasms, the way that theory, this decision in, and there's nothing wrong with that like you can have all sorts of other kinds of orgasms with penetrative sex. It's also part of the stigma around how we view males. They're supposed to you know they're supposed to come first. She comes second, and then she doesn't well, and you know she should be able to have an orgasm with a pianist You know what that's not necessarily know. The truth, we never question what you were saying earlier because I've definitely experienced like squirting type orgasm with myself on top, but that's only like male penetration version. You think there's something about that position. That's different than others beyond I think it's it's. It's literally an angle on. I have not been able to have one doggy style. I have been able to cal, because I think it's literally just the angle of if they're pushing in the right, spot it. It is also related to federal stimulation. So when you're actually on top of some of the you're getting more clitoral stimulation. You would normally. They're I. Mean they're in? There are some people that are much more sensitive in that area in. It's easier for them to get there, but generally the rule regular penetrative sex alone. It's very hard to get there unless you're doing. Some other things in order to have that kind of orgasm so anyway got it all wrong. Maybe, the four play should be. Sex and then the actual trae is everything all right, but go at it from all different directions doing it all wrong I. Feel like I only come when I'm on top I've known a position where you come in other way, but I also feel like I probably haven't opened those doors yet about world. No, never I've never been able to, and this is why your product Co. say. Was it really drew my attention because it's? It's moldable to your body and I, and this is something that just blew my mind. Because for all the sex products we've ever looked at and we've looked at quite of yeah. There are one shape. Yeah, it's supposed to fit every body. Ryan how does that work so tell us a little bit of Osha and why it helps you achieve that blended orgasm. The first thing before anything is finding the right fit so you. You may know that we just had We did our pre sale, and then we finally got. We got product on the ground. In late January, and the are dealing with a lot of customer service questions. Like how do I get the sympathy right? people that just want just want to break it out of the package and just put it in and expect it to solve all their orgasmic roles, and you know there is. is an educational piece to this or did. This product isn't just to illicit of blended orgasm. Part of the point is to help people understand more about their own bodies, and in that you need to actually sit down and get yourself a little bit more You need to learn what kind of fit is going to work for you. That's why this product is so special because you can fit it to your own unique anatomy.

00:40:01 - 00:45:01

Anatomy is you had to learn that on your own? The first thing that we ask people to do is is actually to get warmed up and stimulate the clitoris on the outside so that you can get literally get lewd up. You can get aroused. Get warm. The muscles loosen up a little bit because if you try to go in there dry tight, it's still fun I. Mean You wouldn't do that like in now to partner either so. So. Why would you do that with a product So we want people to get warmed up and then figure out okay. Where is my juice slot? And we actually walked people through that process. You actually use use a finger. You put it inside fine. Where that? She spotted his in. It's GonNa feel a little bit firmer than the surrounding tissue. It actually feels kind of like a squishy warrant to me and it's about the same sides. Again go through this with my partner, just fine reggie spy, but it's harder to find unless you're aroused like you can't just stick a finger in their ingo. There it is now you actually need to be aroused when you're aroused, it actually sends a blood flow to that portion of the clitoris in it and actually enlarges in Gilbert becomes. It's easier to find that. Yes, yes, literally! What's the name owes? Say like what does that even mean? It's all Italian. Actually means risque and risque actually means daring were daring people courtrai it basically daring people to explore their bodies, and our next to products, our own and botchy. Own The means rolling wave. which is that that come hither motion and Baccini? Kiss is gifts, but my family is is Sicilian so. That's where decarlo comes from this well, it's yeah I mean this whole vibrating motion like that isn't insects at all I love. That like is like this is actually what happens inside, so we're GONNA make products mimic that. because. We all use to save you. Go down on on a girl. You should start humming to mimic vibration. Go Up! Doesn't or Anything, but yeah. Yes, I've done that before and I'm just like. Music. We. Can you visualize? Having trouble visualizing it because I think seen it before you a, but it's like I think of sex toys, and it's like the magic wand. The rabbit like they're very like one-size-fits-all. Can you kind of? Give some color what it looks like in how it molds to your body and can to vibrate. About that is the internal portion actually goes inside the vaginal canal and its Phallic shape, but it doesn't vibrate it actually deliver a sweeping motion like a come hither motion the presses into the juice slot in a sweeping motion in a rhythmic sweeping motion. You can dial the frequency the of that sweeping motion way up or way down depending on your preference, you can. Can also actually pinpoint the stimulation of that sweeping motion into a much smaller like kind of a wiggle at the top at the middle, and at the bottom of that whole range where it sweeps, do the whole motion depending on your preference, and that's kind of like a a little bit more of a advanced level when you start getting used to the. Really just want people to fight yet to find their g spot. I'm looking at pictures of Adam Shaheen Julius well I. Describe it almost like a desk lamp with a flexible Nabet. Like a very artistic desolate by actually had somebody sent me a picture in there like. Kind of reminds me of your product that it was literally. Looking Flexible neck and the part is where the light bulb would go. Where does alight right and the clitoral stimulation is on the bottom part? Yes, can we pack up for once I? It'd be. Amazing Orgasm. Like I. Need to put this out into the world like. Were you reading vibrators four? Is this the first product you ever had with a? VIBRATOR! Was this the first like twelve hundred? I guess the question I have review was what needs to be like okay I don't want to do another vibrator. This needs to be different with. got into like this two point. Oh level of sex toys all I did that I mean that's actually drove meal to me to create the company on. I was looking for a product that would deliver this kind of orgasm because I, you know rewind when I'm talking about having that orgasm I'm kind of with the partner that I'm like Whoa. You're good for one thing. Shit how do I I do that again and I look at this person. How do it again by myself? So I started looking into what I did the research okay? What's actually happening physiologically because guess what I was going to med school and they weren't teaching that. So I had to really do a lot of digging on my own, so I discovered. Okay. This is you need to stimulate the clitoris that on on externally. This women's house causes a blended orgasm. This is actually a thing I'm not out of my mind.

00:45:02 - 00:50:02

Okay, so, where's this product? So I started shopping for because I'm like okay. I WANNA find this. I spent like probably two grand, and I. was you know? I'm a starving student and I was just like well. Maybe this will do it and it was like. Oh, it'll fit your bit your body stimulant on the inside and the outset. A four hundred dollar vibrator literally just doesn't fit. And so like that's ridiculous. Know I need something that fits me, but what about other people that mean apparently they think if it's someone so i. started I kept looking and I really there's no product that does this and ended any doesn't I. Don't want it to be a vibrant here. I want something that feels like a human partner. What like I come from a family of engineers? Like why is it? Somebody invented this. I started looking at what is what is it that needs to happen? What is the most rudimentary information that I needed in order to create a product that certain these needs, and I realized I needed to wear the clearest. All's in relation to the vaginal canal. Where's The g spot? Following relationship cal, and what does the public angle like so I started looking for that in medical journals and didn't exist. It didn't exist anywhere actually. Nobody was asking these questions. And so I actually started just asking people that question and I realized three things. I would ask people getting you dummy where your? G Spot they would I look at me like I was insane, and then they would get really embarrassed and ashamed, and then they would go. Rhino WanNa know this is really interesting, and then they would get really curious and they'd want to talk about because nobody's talking about it enough. And it was like Hannah Glass of water to somebody that's been in the desert, their whole lives. The second thing I realized is that teach almost everybody had a fine these spots on. Nobody knew nearly enough about their own physiology, and the third thing was that on Everybody wanted to know why. Why are you asking me? When I saw. This orgasm that I want to recreate the experience with the product. Possibly they would just like freak out and go. Oh, my. God where is it? Can I get it and I like I'm a nurse I don't. I. Don't know I. Don't know what I'm doing help. So I started seeing a trend in the data started seeing You know a range and I realized okay. If I have a range of data on that means I can make a product that can actually fit. Most people I wanted something that could be totally hands-free in order to do that I needed a good in the third thing was I wanted something that felt like a human partner in for that I needed micro robotics and bio mimicry so I needed damn good engineer, so dad. Ask! I was dad these crazy questions. I was like Dad. Do you have a Whitworth? If I could like construct a Whitworth to actually make this motion and he's like why what are you doing? He's a brilliant man. He's kind of my polar opposite As far as like like view, the world goes. He's conservative. He's he's religious stories just like I was like well. I. WanNa make a sex toy. Like Oh, really, that's my. And Yeah. He's like that's really interesting, so he's pretty supportive, but he didn't have the knowledge and expertise that was needed in order to do this on, but he did kind of helped me get in the right direction, but ultimately what ended up doing was going to Oregon State, university and sitting down with Dr John Parmigiana who happens to be the head of the Miami Lab, and became our chief investigator, and I sat down in the first thing fell out of my mouth. Being knee was hey so I how this orgasm when I was twenty products that recreates. Thinks, he's like. White Mica West read and but I. This and naming the sheet that had functional engineering requirements specifications, Fifty two specifications in order to engineer the product and customer expectations in user expectations and he got really excited. This is engineering. We could do this. Nobody ever brings these actually like this. This is what we actually formed. A industry funded research program. That's When we ended up with a prototype that we took to see us in applied for that word I'm thinking all the ways we talk about sex the language around it and I think about how like men when they. Have Sex. The Vagina forms to their Pena's. It's it's literally customized for them by nature and for women. We always hear about how his Dick was in the right set, or that was a perfect Dick for me. That was perfect fit, but we never talk about sex products at that way, so this is all coming from Julian. I had this conversation years ago about sex products and she was like half to try the magic wand, which is John Enormous neck massager that she claims was like the holy grail.

00:50:02 - 00:55:28

Every person with vaginas their favorite. Your go-to and I bought it and I could not get off on it. It just didn't absolutely nothing for me. It made me feel a little bit embarrassed and I was so curious why this worked for me. was there something wrong with me, but it also opened up my eyes to know that my body is completely different than even if ninety percent of women can get off on the magic wand, it doesn't mean that I have to be exactly because there are bodies line exactly in the deaths of problem that we have with most sex tech products. Is that people with China's have this notion that? Works for me, then I must be broken writing in my messages, no one near not broken. You just haven't found the right way yet on in. OJ honestly is not for everyone. It's not gonNa work for everyone. It does work for a very large amount of people, and but that's why we're creating other products. That's why we're continuing to gather information and ask people to be to be patient with us as well in in. Give us feedback as they can because I've got several teams. Teams, working on new innovations in the most valuable thing in order to continue to create products or different pleasure profiles, not if you have a peanut survey, Johnny woman, but for different pleasure profiles is going to be feedback and information, and in that that data just really hate that because I don't want anybody to feel like there's something wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with anyone you don't run. Did nothing for me was the rap? The rather lost thought was I'm not gonNA bring this. No. That's that's not your broken. That's dead damn. that whole concept is broken. I just love that. It's called the rabbit little ears. It's so creepy I just know. Excellent city about was. Made popular so before this conversation Julie pulled up the history of vibrators, and I think this is so fascinating to just bring up because. It was created by a man Joseph. Mortimer Granville in eighteen hundreds. He invented this electric vibrator in eighteen eighty. Okay. And two at the time it was a treatment for hysteria, and so it was easy. Why is because doctors were using their hands to give women orgasms to in order to treat in combat, female hysteria and their hands were getting tired, so they made something that could plug into the wall like brecon lender mean you can have an orgasm then you can make milkshake in the toaster toasted vacuumed floor on my God who along with the rest of the household appliances yeah. We don't know is all we've done for. The last forty years is just remake the same thing over and over again. So is just exactly. We're just doing the same iterations of the exact same thing. We're just putting a new brand new marketing new packaging to it and then ended. Call Rabbit and the next time. But I was looking for. A. Set Nineteen seventies was when we actually acknowledged that women masturbate, and that was a form of liberation, and that's when the magic wand was invented. That, that's still but goto sex toy or win. The seventies and the nineties was when sex in the city made the rabbit vibrator very popular. Charlotte was addicted to it. That was such a great episode. And now finally like starting in twenty eighteen, it's become A. Commercialized product you can find a seat. He hasn't target. That is just crazy that it was started in eighteen hundreds to draw Syria somehow found a way to make it into masturbation female sexuality, but took so many years sapped the fact that email pleasure should be something that we should focus. I don't know if you know this, but word. Is Jake Research as of twenty to eighteen, it's southern was still illegal to buy sex toys in Alabama. What yet? It is a WHO does so crazy that like in twenty twenty like there's still stigma around sex toys. Alabama's not alone. Others I just looked up. In what countries are sex toys illegal? Yeah, while Thailand Vietnam Malaysia. Maldives, but Alabama seems to be the only state in the US I would love to this into Alabama just. Paraded around see what happens. Pretty sure there are others I know like we had to go through the way to through all of this. You're selling a robot, though it's not a sex toy. Cure actually. Alcohol. Ban Robots, Alabama. Olsen say product for sexual. How thin companion! Abe Robot. Just for starters, most of these these vibrators have about twenty to fifty parts in each them now because I've taken apart a lot of them because I am just forever morbidly curious taking it apart, but oh, say has more parts than there are bones in the human body are two hundred, almost two hundred fifty parts in this products in is extremely complex, and it's not just the product lake, the mechanics of it, but it's the firmware is well.

00:55:29 - 01:00:01

This is not toy this is. It's a product for the tool, the tool for self discovering tool for pleasure. That's so because I think you made a comment earlier like this is not a vibrator I know you've said that loud and clear like weird. You see the future of sex toys. Going were tools I guess even a better way to say it. Yeah, secretary sex top tack on the thing to pay attention to that's important is who is making sex tech. That's an important piece because we've seen asleep for loss, if year or so as it's become. Become, more and more widely commercialized. Men are making men that don't know much about Fema bodies on in the last five ten years. We've had this surge of people. If the giant is descending, Hey, guess what I have of the Jonah I think it makes more sense for me to make products that people use with their vaginas, and they're doing it really eloquent in innovative ways. We've got products that just have great brands. We have clamp as the library. Class I'm seen the founders name is t Chang and she's a total assets. Also I just adore her. She's fusing whole world She makes these really rocket by reading necklaces that are gorgeous. They're really beautiful. Industry, innovative, beautiful branding, very high quality, and other folks are doing data-gathering. They want to understand more about physiology. lists clinger at Lyon S makes a vibrator. It's technically it's rabbit vibrator, but it doesn't have the ears. Thank God yeah. But it has sensors for you to understand. What's your orgasm looks like the pressure. What is? What's going on with in an actually will actually create a gap and let you see when you orgasm. Let Siamese we've got folks on. Like people Dane I don't know if you're familiar with them all day are they're making really beautiful thoughtful inclusive innovative products in ancient mind to like none of these products work for everyone right, but a lot of them were worked for many people, so it's just a matter of figuring out You know what works best for you. What is your pleasure profile? On are you after what kind of sensations you after what information are you after and finding the right company part of like what makes I, think Lauren Carlo very special is that we're so gung? Ho about our mission like our whole mission is about allowing people to feel more comfortable in their own skin, because we know that when people feel more comfortable in their own bodies in in their identities. We go out and we do great things I know that when I feel more comfortable in my own skin or when I had a really liberating organs. And I love how your tagline is own. Your pleasure and I love that you know when you have this mind-blowing Orgasm. You weren't dependent on this partner to give it to you again. You took matters into your own hands and said. How can I recreate the all my own, and that's what that's. What owning your pleasure means, and that comes with sex education because you have to know what is pleasure way in order to exchange. Well. That's exactly takeaways so when you were kind of going through all the anatomy of a woman, it's like how do I not know this? Yeah, I don't know idea. Even what you're saying is glossing over just because it's hard to visualize, and I think you please yourself. How can you expect others do? And then also yeah, from the reverse to like I wish I knew more about the male anatomy, your woman pleasure another woman or man pledging. Pledging woman like how do you better understand what's happening for you and your partner, whoever that might be so you kind of continue that exploration educated way that continues to give you new orgasms, new benefits, and all that nearly You nailed it because we that's what we're asking people to do is the more you know about your own body, because a lot of people have asked like Oh are you're just trying to replace them? No, we're not. Anyone what we're trying to do is help. People understand more about their own bodies. More about yourself, and what cleared where your pleasure points are in how you like to be stimulated, that creates competence that allows somebody to turn around and tell their partner. Oh, my gosh, this is what I like. It would be really amazing if he could do that. That creates a closer bronze and actually create better communication than than the other. I've been asked many times because a lot of people are concerned with how tech affects relationships in effects, individuality we.

01:00:01 - 01:05:02

We're going to write that narrative on our own. we're responsible for that right and I think like squirting is a good example. If they're when then happens with a partner, you're not as embarrassed right, so you can explore how your body works and operates without that chain. Yeah, we should just not make his so taboo. This is why we have the culture we have. Today were sexist so like behind closed doors and. We can't talk about this talk about that. And then when we do talk about where like I actually have no idea what to say. I got laid last night. Right so I think semi takeaways are that when it comes to personal sex education I've always been like okay if this works, this is the only thing that works for me and nothing else works, but I realized just with everything we do on this podcast to. There's so many doors. We haven't opened especially when it comes to pleasure so. So. This is such a great opportunity for us to just keep exploring you up. You sit this Laura. I keep being curious and and open up that curiosity about your own pleasure by your own sexuality, and how you can achieve it, because just because it worked for you this this time in this one position doesn't mean there's like six thousand other ways achieve. Or Better Orgasms, so that comes with the sex education and we should talk about these openly. When we're going public, it's okay Jacques about this amazing orgasm. You had the other night. That's fantastic. That's equally as good as the best issue had to days ago, so we need to create more language around is, so we bring it into day life right and we had our is an opener. We had Dr Alexander. Who wrote a book called taking sexy back. She's a therapist. Her you love her book. We talked about this on her episode to. If you figure out ways to pleasure yourself, you're not is like thirsty for the next person that comes around. I think that's your point earlier. It's like what I'd like that this woman gave me orgasm, but I'm not so crazy about her. You can still get the end result without necessarily like losing self respect. You don't have to depend on a par or someone. About you keep the. Right it's empowering it just it makes you feel more comfortable with with your own body, right? We invite people to ask themselves like who owns your pleasure in what's the cost of having somebody else? Control your pleasure. What kind of power does that give you in? What can you do when you have that power, you own that power. You can go out into the world. We really can do great things because it's so much more than just. Sex was the last thought. Let's say you are. Last two people on her. There's no around. And absolutely no objects to penetrate, and there's no penetrative sex happening. What are some ways? That, this partner can can play around with the vagina to give her the ultimate pleasure, what are some ways to just even explore that with your hands or like without any with with? Let me. To your body. I. Heard this story about somebody using their foot. Shortly! I'm kidding. I know that that that's the thing. I'm SEAN A my my Go-to, definitely I mean there's a lot of play. It goes around like I think people kind of downplay like nipple play can actually be really amazing and there are so many Roger Stone's on the body like your ears like your neck like the nape of the neck, paying attention to the really sensitive parts of the body inside of the elbow on the back is, there's so many erogenous zones that aren't just all up in your vagina. And I know a lot of people are very like, neared and scared of of anal, but honestly their death thing is packed with some serious nerve. It would behoove you to like just Kinda. Check it out, does that you have to do anal, but nobody understand what you like you, so many people are so stigmatized about touching themselves in certain places that you know they just don't do it and they miss out. I definitely encouraged trying simulation the thought. You can't get that combined Lyndon Orgasm than squirting whereas just using. Using your hands in your time on on the glanced in the internal g spot I think we also we, we make a lot of other body parts to. It's not just about penetrative sex. It's about the whole experience. Take your time with it in. Enjoy it as far as I'm concerned like a sexual health and wellness is the next trick mindfulness and Yoga held. At Yoga was like stigmatized twenty years ago. Like you're like? Oh, who are these hippies and I'm like even I walked into a classroom and I take my socks off with my shoe. Why's everybody on the ground? And now it's it's a huge. It's a huge market now and I think that's kind of the direction that we're headed. Didn't so so good use to it I love it.

01:05:02 - 01:08:48

I think it's a good takeaway, too. Is Like just explore more? Curious like all the things. You've listened like twenty. One thing. Maybe some of them. You like maybe some of you don't, but you just don't know until you try. I predict that the next big APP will be like head space, but be guided meditation for guided. Masturbation a great idea right I think you mentioned about like understanding your orgasm like data. Could. There's no words to put any of this. Hour, we're definitely positioning ourselves. To be that alumni go just everything sexual health in so not just product oriented are more working on a lot of connectivity and exploring like I, said I wanNA know what people want I want to know what the biggest problems are and how we can solve. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's in a fiscal product arm it might be. It might be in guided guided masturbation so I guess we'll have to find out. That's amazing, so. Your product of say you've already started. Shipping and people can still order that online. Yes but additionally we will have to other products also coming out after that old do things completely differently starting to kind of grow that osage fam- Rhine utilizing bio mimicry, and I'm lighting human motion, and just asking people. Like what kind of emotions do you like? What kind of sensation do you like in? The next four products are going to be doing working people debt the pollock's right now just on our website at Lord Carlo, Dot, com and it's funny. It's L. O.. R. A. D., I! C. A. R. L. O. Dot, com and we are looking at doing our. We're going to be doing our retail March shortly and you do ship overseas to select places, and we're looking to be holy international by the end of this year in twenty, twenty four assists not to Thailand Vietnam, Malaysia. Alabama. Robots! It's not a vibrator. Technically, Laura you are absolutely daring and courageous, and thank you for changing the conversation and the language around sex I. Paving the way for us and I can't wait to have more conversations about sex with anybody. I encountered maybe the BARISTA. We'll have to hear about myself tomorrow. I'll. For my coffee in one or something else. You know what I did this. Let me, show you. How are you for you to a whole other level? antastic thanks Laura for taking time out chat with us and really appreciate all the efforts. You're doing yeah. Thank you thank you. Julie and we're going to wrap up stay along the database. PODCAST is part of the FROLIC podcast network five more podcasts. You'll love at frolic. Dot Media Slash podcasts want to continue the conversation I. Follow us on Instagram. FACEBOOK and twitter with the handle at dateable podcast tag does in any post with the HASHTAG. Stay dateable and trust us. We look at all those posts. Then head over to our website dateable PODCASTS DOT COM. com there you'll find all the episodes as well as articles videos and our coaching service with vetted industry experts, you can also find our premium y series where we dissect analyze an offer solutions to some of the most common dating conundrums Roseau downloadable for free on spotify apple podcast Google play overcast stitcher, radio and other podcast platforms. Your feedback is valuable to us, so don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to stay dateable.